WAMBION WEDDING
Well today is the big wedding day
It's November seventeenth, a Saturday
Two thousand and seven is the year
A great moment of the century is here
Both Michael and Cate have been married before
And they think they're ready for a little bit more
I assume they are well and truly prepared
Cool, calm and collected, not running scared
The marriage is at Wamboin at their place
Will be crowded but should be enough space
Michael will be cooking the guests spatchcocks
While Cate will be imitating Goldilocks
A blonde! Officially in the family at last
Her father-in-law thinks this is a blast
Kate and he eventually ended up good mates
Even though he gave her away with the dirty plates
Now they've both done it all before
And this is rather like an encore
But I have many years of experience
And am well-regarded for my common sense
So I will pass on some good clues
And perhaps some outdated views
With forty years of marriage to my sweetheart
I've lots of advice, so here's a start
However Cate, to you I've nothing to say
Apart from "Congratulations, have a good day"
I hope the reason will not be my downfall
It's because you are a woman and you know it all
Now Michael, dear son of mine
I know you think that you're fine
But now those wedding vows were spoken
Life will change, and I'm not joking
No more out with your mates at night
Unless you want a to start a lovers' fight
No more computer games for a computer nerd
Kate's in charge in case you haven't heard
The sex life you've enjoyed to date
Will slow down greatly I tell you mate
The "marbles in the bottle" story you've heard
Is dead right, I'll give you the word
"Put the rubbish out and bring in the wood
Water the vege patch like you know you should
Fix the fence and the pump on the tank
Check out the septic as it's smelling rank
Clean out the gutters they're full of leaves again
Check the downpipes before it starts to rain
The outdoor furniture needs a paint
You better do the ironing as I'm feeling faint"
This is what you have to look forward to
There is always some bloody chore to do
And you won't get a chance to sit and relax
Well there, I've given you some of the facts
Written down it appears really bad
Looks like married men must be mad
Why would we ever tie the knot?
But we still do, believe it or not
We get married 'cause we love our birds
But we have trouble putting that to words
We're not too good with chockies and flowers
And our lovemaking does not last for hours
But our wives think we're cute and look after us well
So being married is really, truly, swell
What more could we want to keep us contented?
Without our women we'd end up demented
We were all looking forward to the ceremony
As there was something special we all wanted see
The best man and the bridesmaid we were waiting for
They'd be stars of the wedding of that I am sure
The bridesmaid's eight, the youngest I've seen
At the age of ten the best man's not quite a teen
It's Daniel and Lara, I'm sure they were beaut
Daniel's so handsome and Lara's so cute
I'm certain it made Cate and Michael's day
To have the kids involved in this way
It took very little persuasion
To get them to participate in this great occasion
So Cate and Michael on this special day
Congratulations and hip hip hooray
From your family and friends whether here or not
In our hearts you hold a special spot
It's November seventeenth, a Saturday
Two thousand and seven is the year
A great moment of the century is here
Both Michael and Cate have been married before
And they think they're ready for a little bit more
I assume they are well and truly prepared
Cool, calm and collected, not running scared
The marriage is at Wamboin at their place
Will be crowded but should be enough space
Michael will be cooking the guests spatchcocks
While Cate will be imitating Goldilocks
A blonde! Officially in the family at last
Her father-in-law thinks this is a blast
Kate and he eventually ended up good mates
Even though he gave her away with the dirty plates
Now they've both done it all before
And this is rather like an encore
But I have many years of experience
And am well-regarded for my common sense
So I will pass on some good clues
And perhaps some outdated views
With forty years of marriage to my sweetheart
I've lots of advice, so here's a start
However Cate, to you I've nothing to say
Apart from "Congratulations, have a good day"
I hope the reason will not be my downfall
It's because you are a woman and you know it all
Now Michael, dear son of mine
I know you think that you're fine
But now those wedding vows were spoken
Life will change, and I'm not joking
No more out with your mates at night
Unless you want a to start a lovers' fight
No more computer games for a computer nerd
Kate's in charge in case you haven't heard
The sex life you've enjoyed to date
Will slow down greatly I tell you mate
The "marbles in the bottle" story you've heard
Is dead right, I'll give you the word
"Put the rubbish out and bring in the wood
Water the vege patch like you know you should
Fix the fence and the pump on the tank
Check out the septic as it's smelling rank
Clean out the gutters they're full of leaves again
Check the downpipes before it starts to rain
The outdoor furniture needs a paint
You better do the ironing as I'm feeling faint"
This is what you have to look forward to
There is always some bloody chore to do
And you won't get a chance to sit and relax
Well there, I've given you some of the facts
Written down it appears really bad
Looks like married men must be mad
Why would we ever tie the knot?
But we still do, believe it or not
We get married 'cause we love our birds
But we have trouble putting that to words
We're not too good with chockies and flowers
And our lovemaking does not last for hours
But our wives think we're cute and look after us well
So being married is really, truly, swell
What more could we want to keep us contented?
Without our women we'd end up demented
We were all looking forward to the ceremony
As there was something special we all wanted see
The best man and the bridesmaid we were waiting for
They'd be stars of the wedding of that I am sure
The bridesmaid's eight, the youngest I've seen
At the age of ten the best man's not quite a teen
It's Daniel and Lara, I'm sure they were beaut
Daniel's so handsome and Lara's so cute
I'm certain it made Cate and Michael's day
To have the kids involved in this way
It took very little persuasion
To get them to participate in this great occasion
So Cate and Michael on this special day
Congratulations and hip hip hooray
From your family and friends whether here or not
In our hearts you hold a special spot